


LOVE YOU IN SLOW MOTION

by sacheeko



Category: EXO (Band), EXO KPOP, KIMJONGIN - Fandom
Genre: EXO - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Kai - Freeform, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 19:06:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15492657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sacheeko/pseuds/sacheeko
Summary: I like him. That cool guy who everyone loves, I like him.But, it'll be catastrophic to my innersoul if he'll like me back, too.





	LOVE YOU IN SLOW MOTION

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first fanfic way back five years ago. I love Kim Jongin, so intensed.
> 
> I think until forever.

It was a usual mundane walk to school on a sunny morning as my mind stirs with school stuffs and light worries. Though at some point it's exhausting, I believe my obedience drives me to keep on going. Obedience is a must for thy parents and assuring them that I'm just doing fine albeit whatever cataclysm the school is about to throw to stress me, is enough to call my everydays bearable.

Wind billows over, blowing my hair here and there. It's annoying when your hair is messed up by the nature, especially when it blocks your eyesight for a brief moment.

But, my ears were sensitive enough with the exterior noises. A famillar voice echoes with the wind, making my heart race in glee. His voice, I can listen to his voice forever. The low timbre from his voice box, it makes my insides high. And I always find myself smiling like a fool whenever he is around. I can feel my face flushing.

Of course, it's because of him.

"Hey! The movie was indeed great!"

"Yes... I like the part where in the..." He's with his friends and they're right behind me, talking about movies, mere like the usual guy talk. My knees feel so weak though. The thrill of infatuation makes me tensed. His effect on me sometimes makes me super conscious. Insecurities popping anywhere inside my brain. Why are you doing this to me?

I kept my pace slow as they passed by me. And, that's it, I'm ignored. Well, what am I expecting? Of course, this is one-sided love.

But, I like it when these so called butterflies make me alive. Like finally, normal human feeling. Though, I feel sort of rejected, it's okay. It's better this way.

I will keep on loving him, which he will never do in return but receive.

His side profile was enough. Watching him from behind, as I watch his shoulders move when he laughs with his friends, adoring his back, it's fine.

But just all of a sudden, he stopped from his track and turned back to me. I inwardly gasped, galvanized. I want to avoid his eyes, I wanted to walk away. But his genuine smile glued me on place as he greeted me, "Hi! (Y/N)! Good morning."

"G-Good morning." I stuttered, waving at him shyly. 

"See you later." He nodded, still beaming. I literally froze in disbelief.

Then he joined his friends again, and they're back to their usual guy talk.

"Did he just... Did he just call me in my name?"

My name became very special, the moment it touched his lips. 

His name is special to me too of course. His name is tattooed in me, in my heart.

\---

My love interest's name is Kim Jongin or just Kai. He's a campus-fame. Everyone's bestfriend. A girl's first love. Humble about his ginormous brain. One of a kind. Of course, a handsome sweetheart; I love him forever for his face and entirety. Though this is a secretive love, I won't deny it to myself that I love him. I adore him so much.

It's frustrating that I can't have him. He will forever be just for my eyes only. I sometimes wish that he feels the same way too. But, it's just a negative one million percent chance. There are a lot of beautiful girls in this campus who likes him too. Of course, he would rather choose one of them.

And take note, I am not the only person he left one sidedㅡ He's the man of Valentines. Everyone expresses their love to him during the love month; noㅡ almost everyday.

I will never confess; to confront or the indirect wayㅡ never. I am afraid of rejection, the sincere rejection. And it will make me endlessly think about "Why can't he be mine?" while sniveling wreck with a gallon of icecream.

I will keep on loving him in slow motion, that's it.

\---

Ah, I half lied about the obedience. I attend almost all of my classes everyday because it's the only way I can see him close without being suspected as a stalker. We're classmates and I made it sure we must have the same schedule. Of course, I need him. He completes, not just my day, but my life as well.

"Okay class. I decided that, rather than giving you all a pre-final exam, I wanted you to do a project about Human Love instead. Since, the course of our study is to understand human's way of life then, I probably think you'll all share wonderful ideas on what love is all about and how did it influence our daily life. I'll pair you by two's. No choosing of partners. I know half or more than this class will probably choose Kai. " our teacher looked up to him and he surreptitiously answered her with a shy smile.

Good thing, our teacher's fair. To be honest, I'd rather see him paired with a guy rather than with a girl. What if he realizes love during the project proper with her? That will be my first heartache, I swear.

As expected, his friends don't like the fair pairing. Who wouldn't want to be paired with a smart good guy like him? Of course, it's meㅡ I don't want to be paired up with him; though there's a thin chance I want to but, I will definitely just embarrass myself in front of him. I can imagine myself all sweaty, nervous, stuttering and will utter all nonsense. I am ugly too. Yes, I am degrading myself and I will never wait for that moment that he will do the humiliation instead. That's another heartache.

Our teacher began pairing names. Almost all of them hiss in dismay when they're paired with the ones they don't like. Majority of them are girls. Like I said, it's not only meㅡ they're stuck in one-sided love too. 

Four remaining students are left; that includes me, my classmate Cassie, the emo girl, Koike, the otaku nerd and the love of my life, Kai. Okay, I don't like Cassie. Not that she knows it too but, I can already see the future of our team. She will definitely ask me to do all the work and she's just going to promise to pay eventhough she always break the promise. And Koike, sighs, it will absolutely be anime love, I swear. 

Here it is, our prof's keenly watching us four. Koike or Cassie, bring it on. It's really okay.

"(Y/N), and Kai." She said.

Wait what?

I was greatly taken aback. Oh no. Is she serious? Oh my gosh! My brain's screaming. I don't know. Will I be happy? Should I stand now and disagree?

Disagree, yes. Choose Koike.

Yet, the moment Kai turned his head to look at me, my thoughts about disagreeing abruptly vanished! Taking me to the nines, he smiled at me, twice for now this day. It was as if I relieved him. I saw him let out a gust of air. I tried to return the smile but, I don't know if I did it right. I was too unnerved to even feel my face move.

Though majority of the girls here hate me from now on, though I can hear Koike complaining about being paired with Cassie and Kai's friends teasing him by whistling for idk-reasons, I remained in disbelief.

I am tested. I am keenly tested by the heaven's above.

\---

Get a grip of yourself! You are overflowing with desires. You have to face him! You have to be with him! You have to impress him! And you have to pretend that he does not have a great effect on you.

We're at the library, facing each other, which is detrimental in my part. I should have seated beside him, and just maintained a cautious distance. But, I chose to seat across him and I am enjoying my front view to be honest. He was busy with a philosophy book. And sooner or later, we're going to discuss some sht about love. I am forced to talk to him. 

This is unbelievable.

To my surprise, he abruptly looked at me and smiled. Startled, I dropped my gaze instead on the book I happened to open which is totally insane because I should have smiled back. I don't even know what this book is talking about. It's upside down. Oh sht, I nearly utter a cuss. With trembling hands, I turned the book to make it readable and found out it's Biology.

Fck. Biology talking about love? I am crazy.

And according to my peripheral vision, he scoffed at me. I want to cry. See? I am embarrassing myself.

This is awkward. I don't even know what small talk is. And just a few moments ago, I creeped him out already. Probably the impression will last forever.

"I'm sorry." He initiated. What? He's talking to me? "How about if we go to the Biology Garden? I'm sure no one is there. It'll be quiet there and we can talk more comfortably." And he's really cool when he's concern. Indeed, I made him feel awkward.

"Sure..." I retorted back and seriously, did my voice just chirp?

\---

Okay here it is, Biology Garden, Aloha. We found a table to seat on under the shades of the big oak tree, this quercus alba. Well, this is Biology! Everything is Scientific.

Of course, everyone hates it to be here. Because, unfortunately, most of the students here are not too pro of the environment. If they want to study, they would rather be in the Library. And that makes this place quiet and peaceful.

But my inner system is not in peace.

We're seated again across each other. Now the table is a little bit small. If I cross my arms on the table just like what he's apparently doing, my skin would touch his. And no skinship. No no. Just no.

And we're silent as hell.

"Uhm, I'm sorry." He began, brushing his nape, embarrassed. Oh my gosh. What does that sorry mean?

My silence approved him to continue, "I mean," he let out a deep sigh and stared at me. "I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. I know you rarely partner with guys. And I am so sorry for letting his happen."

I wanted to tell him, "Of course, I am uncomfortable because I like you..." But, like I said, I will never confess.

"N-no..." I tittered. "It's okay. I do feel quite awkward though but, maybe we'll be fine soon. I mean, this is our first meeting as partners."

Oh my gosh. I want to palm my face for the term partners.

His smile turned wide and vibrant. And all of a sudden, he offered me his hand. "Not just partners... can we be friends too?" Oh my gosh, he wants me to hold his hand! Oh my gosh! I am given this once in a lifetime privilege to hold his hand! To touch his hand. My heart's going through some weird deugeun-deugeun.

I swallowed cautiously as I held his hand. His hand makes me feel a swelling sensation in my skin. He held it with enthusiam, smiling at me with approval.

And though it was a brief handshake, the feeling still lingers.

"Are you okay?" he suddenly asked.

"Why?"

"Your hand... it's clammy."

Oh no! I totally forgot about my clumsy senses! Of course, I will feel nervy! 

I know my cheeks will blush as a response and so I ducked my head down abruptly to cover my face with this fringe of bang hair. Oh no. He should not see me ruddy! 

"I think, I caught a cold." Pathetic excuse.

He leaned closer towards me to touch my forehead. Geez I forgot! He's everyone's bestfriend, always concern. And because of the touch, I turned even warmer! Just imagine, our faces are so close. One move can change everything. One move, and it will be a kiss! 

"No, you caught a cold already! Your face is warm." He sat back straight to his seat, which on cue made me breathe pretty normally. I surreptitiously took a glimpse of him and I am taken aback of how concern his gaze was on me. Is this real? He cared for me? Awww... my foolish heart is loving him even more.

"Are you okay? Do you want to go home? Oh! Oh! Yes, colds... honey tea. I will get you some honey tea." He was obviously panicking. I can't believe this.

"I-I'm okay, Kai..." I stuttered.

And then he held my hand again, squeezing it with comfort. "No, you're not. I am your friend right? I should help you feel better." 

I want to squeal really. Oh no! This is so, so, so fantastic.

At the end, he went to the canteen for awhile to get me some honey tea.

It was a treat.

And, the feeling of being treated by your crushㅡ I can't explain what I feel.

\---

Through out the conversation or more like the discussion, he did a lot of talking. Oh gosh. He can be a good teacher. He is very intelligent. And because of him, we have our first output already. 

I am obviously fangirling over him. I can listen to his voice forever, indeed.

"It's 5pm already. Let's go home. Let's call this a day." He said after a quick glimpse of the time on his wrist watch.

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow." He bade.

I did not wait for him to say the "let's go home together" line because I might not be able to contain my feelings any longer. I walked away, cautious, not sure if I'm fast or just trying to walk the normal way.

And as always, Kai is full of surprises. He held my hand from behind and now he's apparently beside me. A genuine smile plastered his face as he told me, "I'll send you home."

This is so amazing! Why hold my hand? He feels so warm! Maybe because, I still feel nervy to the tip of my fingers.

He gave my hand another squeeze. Maybe he felt me gawky because of our entwined hands. "I just... want to warm your hand. I can still feel you cold. Will it be okay?"

Speechless, I answered him with a nod. I am flushing again. In the first place this is what I wanted! I want him so badly! The cold was a better excuse indeed.

\---

Okay, the walk with him was really awkward but amazing at the same time. He was holding my hand the whole time, up until now, as we both halted in front of the gate of my house.

He only let it go when someone opened the small door of the gate for us.

And sht, it's mom.

"Eomma!" I winced.

"Yah! (Y/N)-ah~..." of course my mom will notice him. She's apparently looking at him in scrutiny.

My mom pulled me gently to her side and whispered, "Who is he?" And the tone of bliss in her voice, it's making me nervous. What if she tells Kai that I like him? Oh my God! Eomma! Do not sacrifice me yet!

"Eomma, he's just my classmate and he is my partner for the philosophy homework." I muttered back, and hope my mother can get my please-don't-tease-me-to-him look.

I don't know if her expression will relieve me though. She did not talk, but the smile on her face... it was elvish.

"Good day, ma'am..." he bowed formally to her. "I am Kai. (Y/N)-ah's classmate. It's nice to meet you, ma'am."

I can it see through my mother's eyes that she likes him. She was smiling. She let out a soft chuckle and endeared, "Aigoo... it's nice to meet you too Kai."

At first, his smile was just genuine at her but then, when he shifted his gaze on me, it turned wide and toothy. Oh my gosh! What a squishy sweetheart!

"I'm heading off now, ma'am." He bowed again to her. Startling me once again, he tapped my shoulder lightly and bade, "Bye, (Y/N)-ah~..."

That ah~ is really killing me, I swear!

I kept on waving at him as I watched him walk away until he was out of sight.

My mom elbowed me on my side and I literally jolted. She shot me a dubious look, impishly grinning as she asked, "Is he really just a friend?"

I dismissed her. And I feel so flustered. "Eeeh, eeh, eomma. Believe me. We are just friends." And that eeeh-eeeh-eomma, it is an internal squealing.

"Really? Tell me the truth sweetie..." she patted my shoulder and continued, "I won't be mad. I like him for you. He's perfect!"

"Mom... he's A1 but... just friends eomma. Just friends." I pouted. I can't help it. 

But still, Mom remains suspicious.

And if ever my lovestory with Kai will be approved by the heaven's above, I am already assured that mom is in favor of us. 

\---

I'm going to meet him today, again. Whenever I think about him, I can't always help myself but squeal like a retarded fool and smile as if I am the happiest human in the whole universe. Ah, I guess this is the feeling of love. And it's the best feeling ever, really.

I was waiting at the bus stop when suddenly, someone yelled my name from a far. My stomach automatically did a panicky jump the moment I heard his voice. Oh my gosh! I turned to look at him and there he is, forever aesthetic. He was waving his hand at me, and yes, he's killing my poor heart with that beautiful smile of him once again.

I froze on place. I was literally astounded. He jogged towards me and beamed, "Good Morning, (y/n)-ah~..."

"Ha-Hi." I stuttered. Did I even smile at him? Oh no, what's happening with my senses?

Somehow, I noticed him frown in worry. "Are you okay?"

Of course I amㅡ not.

"I am, fineㅡ " cutting me off, he gently placed the prone part of his hand against my forehead. Oh no, the skinship. I can feel my cheeks so warm. So warm that I am turning feverish again.

He sighed in dismay and held my hands next. And I'm pretty sure my hands are freezing to death. He even gasped inwardly when he felt my cold skin against his. "Are you sure you are okay?"

I nodded. I am speechless. If I speak, I might say, I love you. But, No! No to confession!

"It's okay... Don't force yourself. Rest. Look at you, it's like thousands of people slapped your face." He jested and I can't help but stiffle a chuckle. I am partly chuckling because it's funny and partly squealing because my crush tried to cheer me up! Lucky!

He patted my hair gently and uttered, "Actually, I came to tell you that classes are canceled today."

What? Canceled classes? Meaning, canceled date with him too? Oh, this makes me sad.

"Y-You should have just texted me." I said. Yeah, so we can be textmate.

"That's the problem." And I can still feel his hand on my head, and he's petting my hair. "I don't have your number."

"Sorry Kai." I muttered. Ugh, my poor heart's beating so fast! I can't evenㅡ ugh!

"So, can I have it now?" he showed up his phone, preparing his fingers to dial my number. Though stuttering, I told him my number and there you have it Kai; You have my number. You can have me also if you want to. I am even more willing to do that.

"Save! I'll text you so that you can save my number too." He beamed. Oh my gosh. How could he be so squishy like that? Why does having my number makes him happy? Ugh. Your happiness is my happiness too, sweetheart. 

A few seconds after, I received his text message. When I opened it, I was surprise with the content.

"Get well soon! I'll do everything to make you feel better!ㅡ Kai" My face is in crimson. I literally gaped up at him and he gave me a cheeky smile, "That's me."

I sheepishly chuckled though I want to squeal and jump.

"But, I also came to pick you up." He was looking away, and was he embarrassed? "A-and was hoping that we could still continue the project despite of the sudden suspension of classes. But, since you areㅡ "

"No, I am fine!" I blurted out in panic. I don't want to be a burden to him of course.

He was galvanized at first. After a few seconds, he broke a hearty laugh and mused. "Alright. Let's go to Biology garden. The usual place." He offered me a hand and asked, "Shall we?"

I was too giddy when I took his hand. We rode the bus, and our hands remained inseparable. 

\---

The bus was crowded. The seats were also occupied. Kai ushered me to the safer side of the bus. He let me clutched the hangging triangular grip and he was towering my presence from behind as he held on to the top bar.

Oh my poor heart, bless you.

The travel was indeed in a rush. Everyone's stirring here and there. A man on my side was sleeping. When the bus abruptly halted, he went out of balance, causing him to push me away in a startle from his side. My hand slipped off the grip and was about to lose my balance too. But then Kai immediately grabbed me on my waist and pulled me securely to him. 

Oh my gosh! Kai. Is. Hugging. Me. And I am so afraid that he might feel my heart beating in craze, now that we are so close to each other.

"Are you okay?" He asked, concerned. I nodded, afraid to return his gaze.

"Sir, please be careful too." He told the man beside me and the latter said sorry to me for the trouble.

When the bus ran in speed again, though everyone's moving here and there, I feel so secured. Because Kai was holding me close to him. It's like the literal backhug.

Meanwhile, on the next bus stop, some of the passengers went out already. There was a seat available. And because he had me on my waist, he gently ushered me to occupy the seat. 

"How about you?" I asked.

"I'm okay here. Ladies first." He smiled at me and winked. I could feel my face warming again. Why can't I control myself? 

Again, his eyebrows furrowed at me in worry. He used his free hand to cup the side of my cheek. "You sure you are okay?" 

I nodded, avoiding his gaze.

Before letting go, he tucked some strands of my hair first in between my ear which was so sweet of him. "Alright." 

Oh no. Kai. Why are you doing this to me?

The bus stopped once again and the woman beside me stood up and left her seat. I told him to sit already but then, an old man just came in the bus. I thought the front seats would volunteer to let him sit. But, they didn't. Kai assisted the old man to the vacant seat beside me and grandpa looked so thankful for his kindness. 

I looked up at him and smiled. 

Indeed, I fell in love to a nice guy.

\---

We were talking about Human Love with religion at first until, we moved on to the next topic, Human Love with Family.

The technique of our discussion was just merely casual. We will talk about ourselves and see if how we could connect our experiences with the concepts of Philosophy.

"My parents are so keen when it comes to my whereabouts. Especially with my love life. They always argue about it because they are worried I might end up living alone when they're not anymore around. Mom wants me to date already but my Dad wants it to be ten years after. Isn't it hilarious? They are more concern about it than me." I told him, because he asked me to talk about it. And because I am crazy, I didn't control myself. 

"So, have you ever had a boyfriend?"He asked me, suddenly.

Oh no. We're moving on to Human Love with Special Someone already! Why am I so careless? I was too distracted. Urgh. This is so embarrassing!

"Uhm... I... I..." his gaze on me was too unnerving. "I... hadn't"

It confuses me when he smiled. Not meant to tease but, it was as if, he liked the answer he'd just heard?

"Now, I know why your father does not want you yet to get engaged with someone." He mused.

"Hmm?"

"He is afraid that you might get hurt. He does not want you to rush into it. Knowing you are his only daughter, he is afraid to see you broken." 

I gulped, feeling anxious. "W-well maybe."

"You have to really wait for the right love, (y/n)-ah~..." he gave my hand a light squeeze and smiled at me.

Yes, I will wait for you.

\---

"So..." he shifted the topic. And that kind of victorious look on his face is kind of suspicious. "Our last discussion for today is Human Love with Special someone."

Should we really go on with this?

"You first." He demanded.

What? But, what do I know about Love? Should I really say something about him? He is my special someoneㅡ in my dreams.

Clearing my throat, I started, "Well... ahm... loving someone special is indeed a delightful feeling. He serves as your daily inspiration. He completes your day!" I definitely was stressing the words at a wrong tone. "But despite of these strong feelings, you must be aware of your limitations. You must not forced him to love you back. You must take everything slowly. Because that's love. You can keep on loving him and it's up to him if he will return the love or not."

"Isn't that too one sided?" He bemused.

I tittered. "Well, what do you expect? I am single."

He chuckled. Aww Kai, why are you making fun of me? It hurts!

"Uhm what about you?" I absconded.

"Love with special someone?" he tilted his head up to think shortly and continued, "I will love her like she's so special. I will treat her with respect. I will avoid hurting her as much as possible. I will love her not because of the sweet gestures and the light romance but because, she completes me the way I do complete her life too." And he ended his speech with a cheeky smile.

Kai marry me please.

\---

⇨

After the thorough discussions, we are almost done with our output. All we have to do is to recheck it again. And it makes me sad. Because no more daily date with my crush. 

"Uhm, (y/n)-ah~?"

"Yes?"

"Well, today uhm...I know, we're about to finish soon..." and I was so taken aback when I noticed the small blush forming in his cheeks. Am I unnerving him? "Can we still talk; I mean sharing... what I mean is..."

"Sure." I cut him off. I got what he means. Of course, being close to him now is a chance. I wanted him so badly. Like I want him everyday! I will stick with this friendship. This will set as a bridge for me to get to know him more. I wanted this connection. And I hope this bond will last foreverㅡ well, hope not forever, as friends. I am still expecting to take this to the next level.

"Well... now..." he rubbed his nape, appearing bashful. "Let's pass our project together, shall we?" 

"Uhm sure."

Then, as we started walking, he abruptly held my hand. 

\---

After passing the project, since classes were already over, we decided to stroll out to eat. Omo! What is this? Are we dating for real?

We went to a Ramen Shop.

"Order what you want. It's my treat." He said.

"Oh no... it's okay. I'll pay."

"No. It's my treat, okay?" he cut me off. Oh my gosh! He's pampering me with treats!

We ordered two Chicken ramen. We talked about a lot of stuffs and it was happy. He did not make me too uncomfortable with him. Ah, I guess I'm liking his presence around alreadyㅡ not like before, I may like him around but not too nervy.

After the Ramen, we decided to go and watch a movie.

So this is a date!

"What movie do you want to watch?" he asked again.

"Romance is corny. Action is boring for me. Comedy... err, no thanks. How about horror?" I beamed with twinkling eyes.

"Are you sure?" He scoffed. "Aren't you scared?"

I pouted. "Ish. I need to face my fear you know!"

He sighed, shaking his head. "Okay, okay, I will buy the tickets."

He was about to walk away but I stopped him by holding his hand. I felt him jolt with the touch. I was surprised too.

"Uhm, should I cover for the tiㅡ "

"No." He gave my hand a light squeeze. "My treat."

And just like that, he pulled me along with him to the counter. We're holding hands again. Poor kokoro.

\---

Bloods splattering sound... crawling creeper... screaming sounds of death... heart throbbing scenes... and eye-covering thrills... and the poor me is scared to death. Kai was at my side and he kept on laughing at me. I shot him a glare and he muttered. "I told you so. Now you're scared."

And why would he focused his attention to me?

"Ish. If I know, you are also scared! You're not even watching the movie! You're focused in teasing me!" 

"I want to watch it. But, I can't help but what watch you too. You're so cute." He chuckled.

Oh. My. Gosh. Have you ever felt that fast degeun deugeun which shatters you for awhile and then the sudden euphoria invades your whole system to the nines? What? I am cute? I can't believe this.

"I-I'm not c-cute." I stuttered, looking back on the screen. And unfortunately, the ghost appeared surprisingly. I was about to scream and cry but then Kai quickly pulled me into his arms. 

OH MY GOSH! I want to scream!

"It's okay. I am here." He comforted. 

Well, it's not okay.

Trying to breathe normally, I pulled slightly away from the hug, still astounded.

"I am sorry." He sighed. "I can't help it."

After that sweet incident, my mind was all about him that I'm not even scared anymore of the movie.

But, actually, he was holding my hand. He was holding me, until the movie ended.

\---

"Okay class. I congratulate you all for passing the prefinal exam!" Said by our teacher. "And (y/n) and Kai did the best output so far."

I can hear small complaints coming from the girls. Like I care, btches.

"Okay... Kai had an important announcement to tell." She said. The class was in abuzz. What important announcement? 

"Quite now students." Our teacher hushed them.

The moment silence wrapped the room,  Kai joined her in front and said, "I'm going to transfer to newyork to study next semester."

WHAT!?

OH NO. I thought we will live happily ever after? But what is this? Why is he leaving? He did not tell me this!

I'm turning emotional all of a sudden.

Then, he continued, "My parents wanted me to study abroad. And this could be my break. I want to be a doctor. I want to pursue my dreams." 

I ducked my head down because I am already crying. I feel so sad because he is planning to leave and he did not even tell me about it.

Not being able to contain my feelings, I left the room.

And I don't care.

\---

What I wanted to do was to just actually ran out from that room. But, I didn't notice my feet took me back to the Biology Garden were everything started to bloom; or maybe it was just me? I can't identify my feelings yet. Is this sadness? Is this the feeling of hoping for nothing? Is this what you feel when you are rejected? I don't know what is this but, it's hurting me. I do understand now what broken is all about.

He is leaving. And it hurts.

I sat on a seat, the usual seat, and cried in my arms as I rest it on the table. It's kind of funny; I look like I was freshly bullied.

I heard some footsteps approaching but, I did not look up to see who he or she was. In fact, I am embarrassed already for crying like this.

"(Y/N)-ah~…" ah, it's Kai.

Of all the people, really. 

"G-Go away." My voice broke.

"Please don't be like this..." he crooned. What a sweet voice. I love his cooing voice but, if he leaves, I'll never get to hear him ever again.

"(Y/N)-ah~... please, don't make it hard for me to leave." He uttered. I can feel him very close. He was petting again my hair and I snuffled with the touch.

I did not answer him but I continued crying.

"(Y/N)-ah... please..." and just all of a sudden, he got down on his knees and embraced me from the side. 

Aww Kai... you are making it really hard for me. I will miss you so much.

I returned his hug. Definitely, this is my last chance.

"Why do you have to l-leave?" I sobbed.

He placed his chin on top of my head, still brushing my hair. He let out a deep sigh first and muttered, "I have to. I want to reach my dream. I want to make my parents proud and the one that I love too."

The one he loves? Does that mean? He has a girlfriend?

Ugh. This is embarrassing. Why am I so affected? What am I even to him? Do I have the right? I am just a friend, one of his friends. And I should be cheering him up for his dreams. 

Pulling slightly away but not returning his gaze, I scoffed, "I'm sorry... uhm, I ran out of class b-because, something got in my eyes and I have to cry toㅡ "

He cut me off, pulling me back to his arms. "Now, you're making it harder for me to let you go..."

What? But why? Oh my gosh. Am I causing a lot of burden to him? Does he hate to see a friend cry because of him?

I feel so guilty.

I pushed him away on his shoulders gently and though raw in tears, I faced him. I was so galvanized that I found myself speechless.

"(Y/N)-ah~ I like you." He said.

Now, I'm shocked! What did he just say? He likes me? I don't understand. He likes me as a friend or what?

My heart is beating so fast right now. I can even barely breathe.

"I wanted to tell you this since Ms. Song paired us both for the project. I like you because you are different. I mean... I have a crush on you. And uhm, unlike all the girls who approach me, you stand out the most from them." He cupped my cheeks, wiping some tears away. "I started liking you more when I first touched you, whenever you talk to me, whenever you smile at meㅡ when we're together, I feel so happy. Your presence alone, makes my day complete. But, now that I am leaving, I feel so confused, and you are the only reason why I have to think twice." 

Oh my gosh! I don't know what to feel. There's butterflies for his confession and a pinch of hurt for the fact that he's leaving me anyway.

But, at least, he likes me. Our feelings are mutual!

"I like you, (y/n)-ah~…"

I blushed. "I-I like you too."

I finally confessed and it's not one-sided.

He smiled at me first before embracing me again. He burried his face on top of my head and I can feel his warm tears. Oh my gosh! Kai is crying! Omo! I feel guilty again!

"K-Kai... don't cry... it's o-okay really. You can go and reach your dreams... I still like you!" 

I heard him scoff though. "I'm coming back. Wait for me."

I nodded slightly. "I will be waiting. Please be loyal."

This time, he pulled away from the hug first to frown at me in disbelief. "Loyal? Y-You meanㅡ we are... you mean..." 

I pouted. "Can't I?" 

And he victoriously chuckled, giving me a light kiss on my forehead. I even squealed inwardly because of that. Ish! He kissed me! 

"You are the one, of course. If you want, you can be my wife too." He pinched my cheeks gently. Since, I'm yearning to hold his face, I did the same thing too.

"You're so squishy." I chirped.

"And you are mine." He says.

"I am yours."

\---

"Congratulations." It's a celebration everyone!

Finally, after five years, college life is done. 

Okay, after Kai left, I shifted to a new course. It's supposed to be four but then, whenever I enter the same classes from the previous course, I remember him.

And I don't want to be a crybaby girlfriend.

Oh my gosh! I am his girlfriend! I am so lucky. It feels like I received an award! More than the award I wanted to have.

We call, video call, chat and send letters. We are really trying our best to survive this Long Distance Relationship. We send each other a lot of virtual kisses and that becomes a spell. When you break the loyalty virtual kiss, your lips will swell. 

And we're so cute.

While everyone's gathered in the gym for the pictorials and all that stuff, while mom and dad were busy talking with their friends, I went to see the Biology Garden.

Aloha, Quercus Alba!  

Everything is still the same but, no more us.

I miss those days. I miss our projects dates.

I miss him.

Wind billows over again. It was kind'a strong actually, because it took off my graduation cap.

"Urgh! Don't ruin the mood!" I hissed and ducked down to get it.

But then, when I had my upper body slightly lowered to get my cap, I noticed that someone is in front of me. He came from behind. Yes, he is a he. These are some guy shoes.

I pulled my body up  to face him and to my surprise, I did not expect that it's him. "K-Kai."

He was smiling at me. He's here. He's real. His hair is fashionably trimmed to clean-cut. He was even more aesthetic. More smart and astounding!

He took the cap from my grip and placed it gently on top of my head. "Congratulations, babe." He grinned.

Oh my gosh! Babe!

Because of the sudden euphoria, I threw myself to him (that my cap even fell back) and hugged him very tightly. "Oh my gosh! You're real! You're here!"

"Did you miss me?" He asked.

"Of course!" I beamed.

"I miss you more. I miss you the most babe." And he gave me a kiss on top of my head.

"(Y/N)!" I heard my father yelled.

I immediately made a  distance away from Kai but, he pulled me instead close to him by my shoulder. I shot him a pleading look and he just smiled genuinely at me in return.

"It will be my honor to meet them." He said. 

I really like his confidenceㅡ the confidence to meet my parents. Especially my dad.

The moment we were already facing mom and dad, the silence was even more awkward.

I almost jolted when Kai bowed formally to them and greeted, "Good day Sir and Maam. I am Kai. It's my pleasure to meet you."

But my father is such a brat. My mom was smiling like as if she was the one being courted by Kai but on the other hand, he's stone faced.

"Yah!" He even yelled at us.

"Uhm, I like your daughter sir." he bashfully said.

"Yah!" He yelled again but this time with a slap on Kai's arm. (It wasn't that harsh though but, still) My mom and I both frowned at him. But, he just ignored us.

Aigoo, poor baby Kai. Sorry for my brat dad.

"If you hurt my daughter and break her heart..." he clenched his fist in the air and hollered, "Then, I'll be your worst enemy buddy! Bear that in mind!" then he patted Kai's shoulder and finally relieved us with a smile. Oh my gosh! My father's smile was so cute! And his approval is so heart-melting. I can't evenㅡ ugh!

Kai was galvanized at first but then, he was able to recover. His smile was broad. He held my hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.

"Yes son. Take good care of her. Watch her for me. Sometimes she's so foolish and it's enough you are there to guide her." My Dad jested.

"Dad!" I winced and they only laughed back at me.

"I promise you Sir and Ma'am." Kai assured. He met my eyes again and smiled. I beamed back and hugged his arm.

"Oh~ Kai. Call me Mom instead. I'm so happy! My daughter is finally in-love. okay give me the flowers~" My mom exclaimed bashfully. Dad even elbowed her on her side but she shrugged him off. Kai gave her the flowers and she took it with all gaeity.

"Yah... mom~..." I gibbered and flushed in crimson. Kai was just smiling and laughing  in response to my mom and dad's teasing.

While mom and dad were busy talking and arguing about some certain issues involving me, Kai surprisingly kissed me on my temple. I flinched with the touch and gaped up at him. He pinched my cheek gently, smiled and cooed, "Babe, I love you."

Oh my gosh! I love you! The real I love you!

"I love you too."

Then suddenly, mom and dad ceased us with their fake clearing of throats.

"Let's go and celebrate and later with that. And Kai!" Dad was abruptly alarming

"Yes, Sir!"

My dad waved his index finger at him and warned, "You are not yet married so sacred must be sacred. You know what I mean..."

Because of that, Kai turned adorably bashful as he muttered, "Of course Sir. I promise." And he winked at me next surreptitiously.

I wonder what's meant to be sacred...

"Okay. Okay you two. Let's go now. It's time to celebrate." My mom beamed.

We walked behind my parents, with our hands inseparable.

We are inseparable.

***END***


End file.
